Can you be woke and have a partner of different race?

Donald Glover has been lighting the charts on fire lately. Despite his arduous work in the industry, fans have been questioning his romantic choices. This is a topic that I have written about previously, but it was about the demeaning comments black women receive for dating outside of their race.

Everyone knows that Black Twitter pulls no punches. Black Twitter influences the culture, yet the comments about his girlfriend were blissfully ignorant. That’s the nicest thing I could muster about some of those of posts.

Racism hasn’t gone away like people imagined. Otherwise, this country wouldn’t be in this precarious situation. Loving v. Virginia was just made law 50 years ago. Allow that to marinate. It was against the law for you to be seen with someone of a different hue.

For all my sisters who attended PWIs, watching black men choose white women over black women was a painful sight, right? Think about it, this was their first chance probably dating outside their race or being exposed to other cultures, so it’s natural to want something different from what you’re used to.

I’ll be the first to admit that black and white people dating used to bother me. I have my reasons, but I have changed. The reason it used to hurt so bad was because some black men spoke of black women so poorly, not realizing that you can sleep with as many white women as possible, but that child will still be black and face the same prejudices as the father. In addition, it can perpetrate self-hate and create a child with colorism and identity issues. Love is love, but don’t perpetuate those ignorant stereotypes for your reasoning.

Some people use dating white people as a sign of validation. Other black folks love to say, “ I’m gon' get me a white girl, so my baby will have good hair.” That statement pisses me off for so many reasons. It’s the most asinine thing I’ve ever heard because people don’t realize there’s a chance your child can have hair you don’t desire.

Glover’s dating choices shouldn’t affect your daily life. Self-hate is very toxic; it’s part of the reason why blacks can’t advance as a whole. Avid fans of Glover know that he’s a blerd (black nerd), which isn’t widely accepted by our community. Being a blerd myself, it’s so aggravating being told that you have white interests or to have your blackness questioned because you dare to be different. Black people aren’t monolithic, therefore, it’s no reason to act as such. It’s only hurting you from new experiences. That’s the reason why he’s being embraced fully — because of his authenticity.

The best way to learn about another culture is to immerse yourself fully. How else can you get the full experience? It’s amazing what we’ll learn about each other if everyone took the time out to listen to one another. It’s hypocritical to love the hell out of Jessie Williams, Jidenna or Drizzy, but we don’t like what it took to produce that greatness.

Again, don’t use dating outside your race as another fetish. That is hella offensive! As long as their partner is advocating for the same social causes and advocating for advancement, isn’t that the solution we desire?

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