Dating Woes

Black women don’t have to be told that we have it hard. It’s something we already know since we’re little girls. We know that the world hates on our magic and its evident with the constant appropriation we experience as a culture. The world wants our rhythm but only a few can sing the blues like us. (homage to our white allies) With that being said I embarked on something I considered foolish but the other part in wanted to remain optimistic. Being a millennial dating is just a real nuisance except my dirty is around the corner. Not to mention I’m tired of all questions from my family about children. 

Dating as an introvert can be really daunting and friends setting you up are just as awkward. When you were in school it was easy because you had a pool of options to choose from. Dating as an adult has its drawbacks. With real-world responsibilities, it’s kind of hard to meet people. Some resort to online dating. The latest apps are among millennials are Tinder or Bumble. 

I was totally clueless when these apps first came out because online dating was just something I’m not into. Call me a scary cat or old fashioned but I rather meet someone in IRL. My best friend brags about the dates he’s got off various sites. Then curiosity got the best of me so, I made me a profile to see what the hype was about. If you want a good ego stroke this it, depending on your angles and selfies. Your phone will buzz quite a bit. There are thousands of profiles at your disposal which can become intoxicating for some. With the apps, it does expose you to different types of people who find you attractive. 

After you matched with all these profiles until your heart's content. You will get some brave, brazen soul who dares to inbox you. This can go one or two ways, there were some who responded appropriately then there were others who didn’t. Tinder is douche bag central; I can just put that out there. I would do an old maid if my only option was Tinder. Bumble was a little bit better but I’m good on that online lifestyle.  I’ve come to the conclusion that men type every repugnant thought they have online because there are no repercussions. 

It was shocking looking at my phone with some of the messages I would receive. The only thing I can think of is “who raised you?” and what simple basic heffa accepted that. I’m a firm believer that men keep trying until a woman says yes. So, it just made me wonder how many people does Iyala Vanzant need to help? It got to the point where I started being ignorant right back with people because I had to be petty. I know that’s really bad stooping really low but it’s only so much disrespect a person can take. 

 It’s one thing to only be seen as a sexual conquest which seems to be the main premise of these apps. Yes, this type of rejection stinks but the honesty is definitely appreciated. There is nothing worse than wasting your time because it’s something you can’t get back. With online dating though, it cuts through all nonsense. People are a lot more direct which is something that they don’t do in real life. For me, though I’m super good on online dating, the whole thing just creeps me out personally.  


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