Ever wonder why everyone is so infatuated with Meg Thee Stallion or Lizzo? It’s because these women have done what some are too ashamed or scared to do: be their authentic self, sexually liberated, confident, and take no shit. These women have been all over your IG and Twitter feeds. We’ve been inundated with their music, pictures, and no-nonsense mantras.
It’s no secret that black women are trendsetters; in fact, Nilsen has proved what all of us have known all along. We just want our respect, in addition to proving that we aren’t monolithic beings. Black women are allowed to showcase the same emotions as other nationalities without being judged. The media is normally how we are introduced to other cultures that we aren’t exposed to. This is how stereotypes are formed. People already have preconceived notions of who we are as individuals, and as people.
This is why I admire women like Meg Thee Stallion and Lizzo, because they showcase all the emotions that most black women go through. Stallion is a twenty-something college graduate who is figuring things out. She’s living her best life -- as she should in this stage of her life – living out, and chasing her dreams. She’s making money with her friends while casually dating. Why should she be tied down to man? As a woman who’s at the end of her twenties, if this was my little sister, I would be elated. Stallion is living her life unapologetically, and enjoying her golden years. Who wants to look back at their younger years with regret?
Lizzo is a woman who just entered her dirty thirties. There’s a misconception that once you hit this decade, life has gotten easier. Or, you have figured things out and now you’re grown AF! If this isn’t the biggest lie ever told! Holla at me in my forties; maybe I’ll have it all together then. Lizzo speaks about a lot of stigmas that most are too afraid to speak about publicly. I was one of those people as well (holding things in and being afraid to speak out), then I realized I was doing more harm than good.
Lizzo spoke about hitting rock bottom when she suffered a traumatic loss. This is one I can relate too personally as well, as I too have recently lost someone very close to me. Losing a parent is never easy. That’s a type of pain I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy, but it’s a part of life. Lizzo sharing how she overcame this is inspiring to me, because it’s so easy to get consumed in grief and depression after losing a loved one. Black people rarely vocalize these types of emotions, which really needs to change, because it has a multitude of destructive effects.
Lizzo being brave enough to speak up about mental health is commendable because, to be frank, our race is late to this wave of health. Too many times we tell ourselves, “screw it, I got it or I don’t need help.” We are taught at an early age that we must show no signs of weakness; that no matter what happens to us, we must put on a brave face, pick ourselves back up and keep going; because, well, that’s what our parents, and their parents, and their parents have done for so long. Black women (and black people, in general) have been through so much that certain things are considered minuscule where in all actuality they’re not. The classic, “it could be worse,” or, “I’ve been through worse, this is nothing compared to what I’ve been through.”
Another topic Lizzo touched on was self-esteem. I was so proud of her for being open about this because there are a lot of people who do destructive things to cover up what really hurts. People will drink, smoke, do hard drugs, mentally, physically, and emotionally abuse others to mask their hurt deep down inside. My father always told me, “those pretty ones that you’re jealous of are just as insecure.” Think back to that pretty popular chick in high school doing things that you couldn’t even fathom. Fast-forward now and most are burnouts, have a bunch of kids with different fathers, and some may even be in jail. Trust me, everyone deals with their insecurities differently.
Luckily, Lizzo chose a more constructive way…but what about those who don’t know how? She also spoke about the plus-size plight, reeling in some of the misconceptions of what it means to be a plus-size woman, and what causes it. Some us weren’t born with a fast metabolism. Some of us are going to be apart of the chubby squad for rest our lives, which is ok. The point is being comfortable in our own skin; loving your skin; loving yourself. How can we expect someone else to love us, if we don’t love our selves? That’s why these women are so intoxicating to watch on TV and social media, because they’re not always authentic about their struggles. In the words of J.Cole, “it’s beauty in the struggle, long as you love yours.”